I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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