Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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