I am puke
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize