I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize