There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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