So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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