A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize