yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize