just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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