best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sacagawea was the original milf.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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