I wish i was in the wii world.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize