yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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