Having a random hookup so left but love u
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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