Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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