i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize