We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize