a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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