The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize