I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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