I looked at my own cervix.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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