Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize