don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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