But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize