i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize