his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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