She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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