Me. At least after what I've been through.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My brain says no but my pants say off.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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