well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize