I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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