I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize