Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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