Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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