we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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