i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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