R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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