I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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