Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
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Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Your penis caused this!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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