Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize