Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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