remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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