I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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