Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize