so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm just crazy horny about you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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