it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
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my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wish there were birth control emojis
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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