hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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