idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Say something about gay babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize