Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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