she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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