Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize