You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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